Definitely want to read again. There are words for things that aren't simple words and you just have to make it up as you. Hope it was visual for you Fitz!
It was very visual for me. “Cold uncaring sun” was what I would zero in on in writing a wasteland. Though the Sierra Nevadas could be covered in feet of snow most winter days there is not a single cloud and just that; the cursed sun. You can’t help but notice it and you nailed that
It's been awhile since I've been the Sierras! I was thinking more flatlands with trees. Low population but still has some people there. Tornado valley. Yes, in the mountains the sun is so intense, it's almost rude. I think sometimes Tahoe was like that for me in the winter.
I would also die for Marquis. Emil and I have a friend who has a pitbull out here. I love that old man dog.
Its true the old man dog knows his auntie and gets extra excited when he sees me and cuddles me immediately. I miss that dog. He's a good boy. The best boy.
If I could have a weather of choice it would be fog, which can be warm but also feels nice.
I’ve never been anywhere flat and barren, but I’ve been places mountainous and barren, where the sun burns, the wind scorches and rain blows sideways like needles in your skin. The atmosphere you painted was this, and otherworldly and littered with the detritus of something ancient yet futuristic all wrapped up in one, uneasy package.
I kept on imagining Sarah Connor as your narrator. And since I’d live and die for her, for me, your job is done beautifully.
I’m going to read it more, teasing the buried, blasted elements from the story’s teeth, along with the coffee grounds.
This sounds so exciting! You’re whetting my appetite for it so hard!
We went camping when I was a kid in the hottest summer ever in the UK (at that time) and I remember having to run across the sand at the beach because it was so hot. Getting out of the water, I had to call to my mum to bring me my sandals so I could walk back to where we had set up our towels and deckchairs in the dunes. I’m sure it wasn’t 100 Fahrenheit though!
Sarah Connor? I will take it. It's flatlands yes, barren but not in the way a desert may be barren because it was still thriving with life. It's scifi. PT2 will be more scifi. I just need two days of no work back to back and I can carry on the story. I already have a setting I just need a point to it. I think she was some where in Oklahoma. Originally. Its flat as fuck but there's some brush and creeks out there and trees but also tornadoes. Just at the cusp. It made me think of dry suns in the valley of California. They're truly RUDE out there. It gets so hot. Always thirsty. Sometimes it's hard to breathe. One place I lived it, it would hit over 100 in the summers. It felt like God hated you. No barefoot walking unless you wanted to play hot lava monster with the ground and turn your skin to blisters. It sort of took me back to that location. Location. Location. Working on that agenda so it's more than the feeling of location.
There is truly nobody else that writes like this. Ever since i stumbled across work by you, Edith, I've been entranced by the visual triggering that your insane word structures create. Like flavours of colours and sounds of feelings and ratchety home movie projections flickering up the walls of the inside of my cranium. There's so much depth of feeling in this piece. The feeling if love between a human and an animal - saving each other- transcending the horrors that are lurking beyond...this is the alien invasion dystopian universe seems like? you've written other pieces with this player if im not mistaken?
I originally wrote the character actually in 2022, (exact date 12.18.22) and it was more vague and ambiguous. I have done scifi characters before, but I haven't written this one before I developed her when I was having a depressive block and decided to do some free write with George Kalantzis, and then slowly worked on the character based on the original story. I felt that originally the character lacked depth, and needed more ticks. I haven't put her anywhere else, because it's new. While there are similar characters such as the cyborg and the hunter, it's not the same character (this one isn't a cyborg) I think this is something that should be played on longer though. Maybe I'll write another connector to it. More parts. Thank you for all the compliments, they're always treasured.
This was a wonderful read, and it is one that is going to require me to read it again. It is familiar in a haunting way. I love it!
Make it up as you go*
Definitely want to read again. There are words for things that aren't simple words and you just have to make it up as you. Hope it was visual for you Fitz!
It was very visual for me. “Cold uncaring sun” was what I would zero in on in writing a wasteland. Though the Sierra Nevadas could be covered in feet of snow most winter days there is not a single cloud and just that; the cursed sun. You can’t help but notice it and you nailed that
Also I would die for Marquis
It's been awhile since I've been the Sierras! I was thinking more flatlands with trees. Low population but still has some people there. Tornado valley. Yes, in the mountains the sun is so intense, it's almost rude. I think sometimes Tahoe was like that for me in the winter.
I would also die for Marquis. Emil and I have a friend who has a pitbull out here. I love that old man dog.
That's exactly right, the sun IS rude. It's bright, will burn you, and provides no warmth.
Pitbulls melt to puddles if they like you
Its true the old man dog knows his auntie and gets extra excited when he sees me and cuddles me immediately. I miss that dog. He's a good boy. The best boy.
If I could have a weather of choice it would be fog, which can be warm but also feels nice.
I’ve never been anywhere flat and barren, but I’ve been places mountainous and barren, where the sun burns, the wind scorches and rain blows sideways like needles in your skin. The atmosphere you painted was this, and otherworldly and littered with the detritus of something ancient yet futuristic all wrapped up in one, uneasy package.
I kept on imagining Sarah Connor as your narrator. And since I’d live and die for her, for me, your job is done beautifully.
I’m going to read it more, teasing the buried, blasted elements from the story’s teeth, along with the coffee grounds.
P.s. Sarah Connor was a babe.
This sounds so exciting! You’re whetting my appetite for it so hard!
We went camping when I was a kid in the hottest summer ever in the UK (at that time) and I remember having to run across the sand at the beach because it was so hot. Getting out of the water, I had to call to my mum to bring me my sandals so I could walk back to where we had set up our towels and deckchairs in the dunes. I’m sure it wasn’t 100 Fahrenheit though!
Sarah Connor forever.
P.S. in the 2nd part I will tell you a secret, there are already dunes 😂😂 great minds think alike 💜
Oh! Ha! 😂
Sarah Connor? I will take it. It's flatlands yes, barren but not in the way a desert may be barren because it was still thriving with life. It's scifi. PT2 will be more scifi. I just need two days of no work back to back and I can carry on the story. I already have a setting I just need a point to it. I think she was some where in Oklahoma. Originally. Its flat as fuck but there's some brush and creeks out there and trees but also tornadoes. Just at the cusp. It made me think of dry suns in the valley of California. They're truly RUDE out there. It gets so hot. Always thirsty. Sometimes it's hard to breathe. One place I lived it, it would hit over 100 in the summers. It felt like God hated you. No barefoot walking unless you wanted to play hot lava monster with the ground and turn your skin to blisters. It sort of took me back to that location. Location. Location. Working on that agenda so it's more than the feeling of location.
Wild ride and very impressive
Thank you kindly. It was a challenge to lock in that voice.
There is truly nobody else that writes like this. Ever since i stumbled across work by you, Edith, I've been entranced by the visual triggering that your insane word structures create. Like flavours of colours and sounds of feelings and ratchety home movie projections flickering up the walls of the inside of my cranium. There's so much depth of feeling in this piece. The feeling if love between a human and an animal - saving each other- transcending the horrors that are lurking beyond...this is the alien invasion dystopian universe seems like? you've written other pieces with this player if im not mistaken?
BRILLIANT. As ever. 🫡😎
I originally wrote the character actually in 2022, (exact date 12.18.22) and it was more vague and ambiguous. I have done scifi characters before, but I haven't written this one before I developed her when I was having a depressive block and decided to do some free write with George Kalantzis, and then slowly worked on the character based on the original story. I felt that originally the character lacked depth, and needed more ticks. I haven't put her anywhere else, because it's new. While there are similar characters such as the cyborg and the hunter, it's not the same character (this one isn't a cyborg) I think this is something that should be played on longer though. Maybe I'll write another connector to it. More parts. Thank you for all the compliments, they're always treasured.
i always get a buzz when I see you post something new 😀 love what you do! 🤯❤️🔥
So many great lines here, but "rot heals you different" is really sticking to the walls of my brain. 🔥
So many lines I thought about forever. Literally months. It's so wild how sometimes some things take forever and some none at all.
Absolutely. I feel that.
I was thinking of mold how sometimes stuff just gets left and and after awhile it feels immune even if you aren't and you feel worse.
Your brain tells you it doesn't matter but it does
Man this character was a feeling.
The foreboding unspools as it pulls one further in and out like the cloth of a flag fighting to snap from its pole.
Dope.
Nice. I was trying to go for that vibe. Glad I got it in there somehow.
Well this got the goosflesh to rise
It all started when we both started free writing but then I had the time to finish finally. I am glad it's done.