For a stream-of-consciousness exercise, this is amazingly coherent. It does leave a reader with some unanswered questions, but that's part of the point. There's also an amazing amount of detail about the world in which the story takes place. The basic idea could easily become the foundation for a novel.
I've been told that many of my stream of consciousness exercises could become novels because of their foundations. My current problem is the commitment to a novel, that's why I'm starting very small with novellas, and I'll work my way into a novel. World building is something I've enjoyed as a little gamer nerd myself and avid reader. So, when I do stream of consciousness, I create entirely new universes and world's each time.
despite reading a few of your SoCs now, each one brings a different smile and a different sensation. I'm excited to be taking part in the game you are arranging but i am baffled at how you create these torrents of description. I simply will not be capable of such, and i doubt many could.
ponders... so many sentences seem grammatically questionable, or stand-alone, tautological and distinct from the one before and the one after... but bring all of them together and the film begins. like standing with your nose up against a Suerat painting then slowly leaning backwards.
And under all that swirling there is still a recognisable yarn and a story that you want more of... but the paprika and turmeric... i couldnt work them into anything there... what was the spice about?
I do also believe you can learn to write that way if you're given the tools to write that way, should I ever do a real workshop, I would teach you how to look at it with line edits on your doc pages. People grow from other writer's perspectives, I did not get here alone, but I started alone. Or, you know if I have time somewhere after December you can always send me something to beta read, and I do extensive comments and ideas, about fluidity and thought that's supposed to be taken as suggestions.
She was thinking of curry, because I make everything I cook from scratch many curries are made from paprika and tumeric, one of my pastes I make in house takes at least 20 ish ingredients to create a perfect level of aromatics. I suppose what we can take here is aromatic sensations, even if they may or may not be real.
Descriptions come from actually, a lot of isolation and loneliness. I often sadly spent many times alone. So when I wrote alone, I treated it like an art class at a different angle, what is the MC feeling, seeing, thinking, touching what do they do from that, where does it take them, and during you in a way describe from the MC lenses somehow it, being a part of you. And then in the form of stream of consciousness, you let it take you there. When I think of descriptions with horror I think of Anne Rice or Stephen King but no offense to them I found them very boring content wise even if they are greats and I respect them for what they offered. But, during my inception which started at 12, I said I wasn't going to write boring literature, there has to be balance in between narrative and direction and dialogue which I'm still fleshing out. It's something, that I think all writers are always working towards.
For fun, I want you to sit somewhere alone, and write down everything you see around you, and then pick something to look at whether it's a lantern or a statue, but look at it from an angle, and then write as, the feeling when you see the object, the inner monologue, what it would feel like if you touched it but imagine what it could be without touching it, and then go home, to with whatever you're currently writing, and do pull up a random new document, and add in your character with those feelings, thoughts, inner monologue, and then blend them for where they need to be, read it out loud until it makes sense. And you'll have done what I have done my whole life.
thank you for your amazing insights Edith. I'll give this a try. I have little to offer in return... i did try to write omens of the great spring all in the present/ present continuous tense to be a stream of things happening at the same time from different perspectives
I hope it helps, just think, of your inner monologue and making that a story within what you could possibly see, feel, or imagine. Take your time. No timers. No edits. Let it flow.
Thank you for enjoying the piece. That's also my favorite line as well. I feel like in any hypervilgiant moment, a person may relate to that line. It's the anxiety of the moment, but instead of fast paced this one was slower. This one taught me a lot about sensory details.
I love that I can see you looking for what to make the focus of the piece as your writing. From concepts to smells to physicality, it becomes more clear what this is supposed to be about… and then you undercut it with the decomp.
I also chuckled at the impotence of the shadow.
Fun fun.. but the bot is a psycho, just for enjoying the lick of a cat.
The decomp is important because it explains the rending from the inorganic to organic, showing the duality of her being a cyborg. She is psycho though. You're correct.
For a stream-of-consciousness exercise, this is amazingly coherent. It does leave a reader with some unanswered questions, but that's part of the point. There's also an amazing amount of detail about the world in which the story takes place. The basic idea could easily become the foundation for a novel.
I've been told that many of my stream of consciousness exercises could become novels because of their foundations. My current problem is the commitment to a novel, that's why I'm starting very small with novellas, and I'll work my way into a novel. World building is something I've enjoyed as a little gamer nerd myself and avid reader. So, when I do stream of consciousness, I create entirely new universes and world's each time.
despite reading a few of your SoCs now, each one brings a different smile and a different sensation. I'm excited to be taking part in the game you are arranging but i am baffled at how you create these torrents of description. I simply will not be capable of such, and i doubt many could.
ponders... so many sentences seem grammatically questionable, or stand-alone, tautological and distinct from the one before and the one after... but bring all of them together and the film begins. like standing with your nose up against a Suerat painting then slowly leaning backwards.
And under all that swirling there is still a recognisable yarn and a story that you want more of... but the paprika and turmeric... i couldnt work them into anything there... what was the spice about?
I do also believe you can learn to write that way if you're given the tools to write that way, should I ever do a real workshop, I would teach you how to look at it with line edits on your doc pages. People grow from other writer's perspectives, I did not get here alone, but I started alone. Or, you know if I have time somewhere after December you can always send me something to beta read, and I do extensive comments and ideas, about fluidity and thought that's supposed to be taken as suggestions.
She was thinking of curry, because I make everything I cook from scratch many curries are made from paprika and tumeric, one of my pastes I make in house takes at least 20 ish ingredients to create a perfect level of aromatics. I suppose what we can take here is aromatic sensations, even if they may or may not be real.
Descriptions come from actually, a lot of isolation and loneliness. I often sadly spent many times alone. So when I wrote alone, I treated it like an art class at a different angle, what is the MC feeling, seeing, thinking, touching what do they do from that, where does it take them, and during you in a way describe from the MC lenses somehow it, being a part of you. And then in the form of stream of consciousness, you let it take you there. When I think of descriptions with horror I think of Anne Rice or Stephen King but no offense to them I found them very boring content wise even if they are greats and I respect them for what they offered. But, during my inception which started at 12, I said I wasn't going to write boring literature, there has to be balance in between narrative and direction and dialogue which I'm still fleshing out. It's something, that I think all writers are always working towards.
For fun, I want you to sit somewhere alone, and write down everything you see around you, and then pick something to look at whether it's a lantern or a statue, but look at it from an angle, and then write as, the feeling when you see the object, the inner monologue, what it would feel like if you touched it but imagine what it could be without touching it, and then go home, to with whatever you're currently writing, and do pull up a random new document, and add in your character with those feelings, thoughts, inner monologue, and then blend them for where they need to be, read it out loud until it makes sense. And you'll have done what I have done my whole life.
thank you for your amazing insights Edith. I'll give this a try. I have little to offer in return... i did try to write omens of the great spring all in the present/ present continuous tense to be a stream of things happening at the same time from different perspectives
I hope it helps, just think, of your inner monologue and making that a story within what you could possibly see, feel, or imagine. Take your time. No timers. No edits. Let it flow.
Escape the night before the sky falls. What an Incredible opening line. What a magnificent stream of consciousness. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for enjoying the piece. That's also my favorite line as well. I feel like in any hypervilgiant moment, a person may relate to that line. It's the anxiety of the moment, but instead of fast paced this one was slower. This one taught me a lot about sensory details.
I love that I can see you looking for what to make the focus of the piece as your writing. From concepts to smells to physicality, it becomes more clear what this is supposed to be about… and then you undercut it with the decomp.
I also chuckled at the impotence of the shadow.
Fun fun.. but the bot is a psycho, just for enjoying the lick of a cat.
The decomp is important because it explains the rending from the inorganic to organic, showing the duality of her being a cyborg. She is psycho though. You're correct.